“Those stadium shows may possibly be the most extravagant and expensive (production-wise) ever: $40 million to build the stage and, having done the math, we estimate 200 semi trucks crisscrossing Europe for the duration. It could be professional envy speaking here, but it sure looks like, well, overkill, and just a wee bit out of balance given all the starving people in Africa and all. Or maybe it’s the fact that we were booted off our Letterman spot so U2 could keep their exclusive week-long run that’s making me less than charitable?”

- Bicycle enthusiast and part-time ghost hunter David Byrne

August 13, 2009, 1:13pm

July 30, 2009, 11:09am

JortyLaForge: “Photoshopped! Knights didn’t have cell phones!”

Thanks to @Ruhmann.

April 23, 2009, 4:13pm

Ernest Franklin grew up resentful of beards because he could never grow one of his own due to a male hormone deficiency. He dubbed himself the Beard Hunter and started a lonely war against facial hair; killing bearded men and keeping their beards as trophies.

At the age of thirty-six, Ernest still lived with his mother and spent all his free time working out and reading body-building magazines. He dreamed of a movie or comic book being made one day about his exploits as the Beard Hunter.

Beard Hunter hit the big-time when he was contacted by ‘The Bearded Gentlemen’s Club of Metropolis’ to murder the Chief; leader of Doom Patrol. The Bearded Gentlemen made an offer to buy the Chief’s legendary beard, but he responded by calling them lunatics. They decided Chief was no longer fit to have a beard, and made the desperate ploy of hiring the Beard Hunter. The Hunter caught up with Chief at a supermarket, and proceeded to shoot everything in sight. Chief may be old and paralyzed, but he was still easily able to evade the Hunter and lure him into a trap. The end result of this skirmish was the death of the Beard Hunter, who, as he lay dying, regretted that he would never get around to dating.

February 20, 2009, 9:14am

From the C-list of the Flash’s Rogues Gallery:

One night, after losing all his money in a game, Jeremy Tell murdered the winning gambler. A mystically “cursed deck of cards” owned by the murdered man suddenly and inexplicably animated and flew at Tell, cleaving his flesh and bonding to his skin. They have replaced most of his flesh, and cover most of his body. Now, as DOUBLE DOWN, Tell can (either mentally or mystically) control these cards, detaching them from his body and directing their movement. He can use a card’s razor edges to cut through things, or to encase someone with his cards. When in battle, he often uses puns related to gambling, in much the same manner a Silver Age gimmick villain would.

February 10, 2009, 9:07am