a.k.a M.O.D.O.K. B.I.T.C.H.E.S!!!1!!!!1!!
(M.O.D.O.K sez: “My legs are completely vestigal. Also, I have no genitals. This is why I kill. Also, I was designed ONLY for killing. Its sort of a bummer. I wish I were designed for something more fun, like badminton.”)
See also, the shocking Ms. M.O.D.O.K. in some hottt team-up action!
BRAIN WAVVES!
March 27, 2009, 1:38pm
February 20, 2009, 2:20pm
February 20, 2009, 2:17pm
Roy Bivolo was a gifted painter as a child… but for one critical problem: he was completely color-blind. He developed a pair of goggles that granted the wearer color-based powers—they could launch colored beams of force on which the wearer could ride through the air, produce emotions in people according to the mood associated with each color, and more. Bitter at the world for denying him his own gift and denying him the ability to truly appreciate the master works of art, he turned to crime as the Rainbow Raider, stealing great works and declaring that if he could not appreciate them, then neither should anyone else.
(L -R: Mondrian, Malevich, Rothko, Newman)
February 11, 2009, 2:56pm
From the C-list of the Flash’s Rogues Gallery:
One night, after losing all his money in a game, Jeremy Tell murdered the winning gambler. A mystically “cursed deck of cards” owned by the murdered man suddenly and inexplicably animated and flew at Tell, cleaving his flesh and bonding to his skin. They have replaced most of his flesh, and cover most of his body. Now, as DOUBLE DOWN, Tell can (either mentally or mystically) control these cards, detaching them from his body and directing their movement. He can use a card’s razor edges to cut through things, or to encase someone with his cards. When in battle, he often uses puns related to gambling, in much the same manner a Silver Age gimmick villain would.
February 10, 2009, 9:07am
…Look, I know you’re not crazy about this dress-tunic that I “insist upon wearing.” It just feels comfortable. No, I don’t think its too short. I don’t complain when you wear your short dresses. Besides, it disperses energy blasts and makes my thighs look great. And then you keep bringing up my “smelly gorilla buddies.” I know they’re not like the prep school guys you usually hang out with, but they’re my friends. And honestly, aside from 1-A and you, they’re really the only non-robot friends I’ve got. When you live in a bubble under the sea and train all the time to fight robots, you dont get to meet a lot of people. I just want you to give me another chance. Txt me as soon as you get this.
XOXO
-Magnus
February 02, 2009, 1:06pm
Some days I am Mainframe and Rashid is any girl I’ve ever met.
January 17, 2009, 9:44am
The Albi, or Merovingian, world map, 8th century
(the oldest surviving detailed world map)
Before you start judging, send us the world map that you made in the 8th century, with -1300 years of contact stupidity and without google street view or brass goggles.
January 16, 2009, 1:30pm
I just got back from vacation. SMJ paid for me to go to Romania and stay in a castle and sleep in a sweet iron maiden. I miss the bats.
Here is an incomprehensible comic that looks like it belongs on this retarded blog.
January 07, 2009, 10:39am
… is an actual, honest-to-god headline on Slate right now, thanks to ladmagtastic former Austiner and all-around asshole Neal Pollack.
LeBron, wondering if he remembered to feed his goldfish.
But what I (and most SMJ readers) really want to know is…
Jean Grey was definitely traced from a porno mag, as are most Marvel heroines since the late 70s.Wolvie’s fangs are great, but the real win here is Punisher, with a rocket launcher, WEARING A FUCKING CROSS!
December 18, 2008, 11:22am
December 17, 2008, 9:56am
