
December 16, 2009, 9:17am
So here’s Triplicate Girl. Fucking Triplicate Girl. This is your fault Dale-Duh, thanks for coming out of retirement. Seriously.

“There’s three of me. Hot clone stamp action!”

“Now I’m the Duo Damsel. Brainiac totes killed the shit out of one of my exo-bodies. There are only two of me. I’m so lonely.”
And then, inevitably, another body fell in battle leaving us with…
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UNA!
“I have no exceptional powers or abilities whatsoever. I am now just another asshole in a purple American Apparel bodysuit and gold boots. I suck.”
The details are unimportant, but this is roughly how it all went down:

Yeah, that’s Computo. He’s got wheels, bitches.
June 24, 2009, 9:39am

Cleremont: C-
Byrne/Austin: A+
From Uncanny X-Men #115, obvs.
Click through for High Res.
June 01, 2009, 5:49pm

Just kidding, it’s more of the same, the Punisher punching a polar bear in the face.
April 16, 2009, 10:51am

“a theoretical snowflake existing in 196,833 dimensional space.” , a reference to the visualization method used by some mathematicians when describing the Monster Group.
More sweet armchair science from Warren Ellis, the master of stealing shit off the internet.
April 03, 2009, 12:07pm
I’m cleaning out the “creepy shit I find on the internette” folder that sits on my desktop. This will benefit our self-aggrandizing community greatly and the barrage of posts that ensues will be known across the e-plains as “SMJ Bailout 2009.”
From The Chas Addams Mother Goose, 1967.
March 30, 2009, 1:05pm

a.k.a M.O.D.O.K. B.I.T.C.H.E.S!!!1!!!!1!!

(M.O.D.O.K sez: “My legs are completely vestigal. Also, I have no genitals. This is why I kill. Also, I was designed ONLY for killing. Its sort of a bummer. I wish I were designed for something more fun, like badminton.”)
See also, the shocking Ms. M.O.D.O.K. in some hottt team-up action!
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BRAIN WAVVES!
March 27, 2009, 1:38pm

Roy Bivolo was a gifted painter as a child… but for one critical problem: he was completely color-blind. He developed a pair of goggles that granted the wearer color-based powers—they could launch colored beams of force on which the wearer could ride through the air, produce emotions in people according to the mood associated with each color, and more. Bitter at the world for denying him his own gift and denying him the ability to truly appreciate the master works of art, he turned to crime as the Rainbow Raider, stealing great works and declaring that if he could not appreciate them, then neither should anyone else.

(L -R: Mondrian, Malevich, Rothko, Newman)
February 11, 2009, 2:56pm