With much loved “ultralounge” Pangea closing, famed Austin impresario Michael Ault is trading in wildebeest-penis afrodisiacs for a new Chris Claremont-era X-Men themed club called “The Pheonix.”

But the true visionary next step in Austin nightlife is to take the club back to the streets. After the Pheonix, his next venture “The Lot” (pictured above), will forever change the face of drinking beer in a parking lot.

Features include comfortable “curb” seating and a gravel VIP area.

July 15, 2009, 9:42am

So here’s Triplicate Girl. Fucking Triplicate Girl. This is your fault Dale-Duh, thanks for coming out of retirement. Seriously.

“There’s three of me. Hot clone stamp action!”

“Now I’m the Duo Damsel. Brainiac totes killed the shit out of one of my exo-bodies. There are only two of me. I’m so lonely.”

And then, inevitably, another body fell in battle leaving us with…

UNA!

“I have no exceptional powers or abilities whatsoever. I am now just another asshole in a purple American Apparel bodysuit and gold boots. I suck.”

The details are unimportant, but this is roughly how it all went down:

Yeah, that’s Computo. He’s got wheels, bitches.

June 24, 2009, 9:39am